Mandan News

A recent lesson about avoiding temptation

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It’s not that I haven’t tried these newfangled body washes, rather I’ve just never been impressed with them. During my travel days I’ve stayed in numerous hotels that provide shampoo, soap and body wash. However, when I tried the body wash/shower gels I found they don’t lather up much and seem to leave a weird sheen/smell on my body as opposed to bar soap.

So don’t ask me why, but I somehow found myself checking out body washes/shower gels at the store. My curiosity caused me to pick up a bottle and open the tab to see how it smelled. I put the bottle up to my nose and, in hopes of getting a sense of the fragrance, gently squeezed the bottle. Wouldn’t you know, I squeezed too hard and managed to jam a good load of shower gel into my nostril.

I immediately sealed up and replaced the bottle on the shelf while trying to figure out how to remove the gel from my nostril. My eyes watered a bit and I had to blow my nose into my hand and hope that no one noticed how stupid I looked while quickly exiting the store.

Undaunted I found myself in the bath and beauty section of another store, – yes, I know this doesn’t sound good – checking out their shower gels. For some odd reason I picked up and sniffed this gel called “Dark Temptation,” a revitalizing shower gel.

I read the label. It said “ultra lather and addictive fragrances,” so I successfully sniffed it and thought, “Not bad, I’ll try it.” When I got home, for some odd reason I read the rest of the label: “the scent of Dark Temptation is as irresistible as chocolate. Use with every shower and she’ll turn into a maneater.”

Wow, this should really bring Renee around. So I tested it out in the shower by liberally pouring it over myself. I lathered up the best I could, rinsed and stepped out of the shower only to hear Renee say, “What in the hell stinks in there? My God, it’s awful!”

I told her it was Dark Temptation and she was even less impressed and proceeded to tell me to get rid of that crap. In an attempt to convince her that she was wrong, I even read her the label, which convinced her that maybe I should sleep somewhere else while the stuff wears off.

So if any of you would like to try some body wash/shower gel, I happen to have an almost-full bottle that you could check out … after all, it says it will create “unlimited female attraction” and maybe you might be interested in that kind of stuff.

As for me, it looks like I’ll return to regular bar soap and be happy to get back in my own bed … here’s hoping that your temptations don’t get you into the messes that mine seem to.